Being a good girlfriend, of course.
Wait, wait, wait,
I can hear you saying, “Ugh, Matt – are you really telling me I have to make all the effort while the guy does nothing to meet my needs?!?”
No, it’s nothing like that.
Being a good girlfriend doesn’t, by any means, imply you’re going to be the one putting in all the work. It means being the highest-value version of yourself so that you also get the best out of him.
Don’t forget, I’m looking out for you here 😉
So without further ado, here are 5 powerful tips for being the woman of his dreams:
1. Make him feel like his best self
One of my favourite movie quotes ever is in the film As Good As It Gets, when Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt, “You make me want to be a better man.”
This is the dream woman every man hopes he will find. A girlfriend who inspires him to be better by believing in him 100% and encouraging him to put himself out there and fulfil his potential.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you can take a lazy, useless guy and live hoping he’ll grow up and take control of his life. It means finding a guy who truly has drive and then being someone who is his greatest teammate (and allowing him to be yours as well).
2. Understand his particular “love triggers”
Men don’t always feel love in the same way women do.
In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains how women typically experience love through acts of service and quality time spent together, while men, on average, tend to experience love through admiration and acts of physical touch (sexual and nonsexual).
One of the best things anyone can do in a relationship is learn how their partner feels love, even if it’s completely different to them. This enables us to give our partner that feeling of significance and safety that we crave ourselves in a relationship.
And what’s more, be willing to show him your own standards as well. This way, he knows the exact blueprint to pleasing you, instead of having to guess and getting it wrong all the time.
3. Know how to care for yourself…
The girlfriend he dreams of isn’t someone who depends on him to fulfill every need.
The only guys who are turned on by a dependent woman are narcissistic control freaks who need to be in charge of their partner’s happiness.
A high-value guy will want to see evidence that you have your own independent sources of happiness outside the relationship that give you inspiration and joy every day.
This is one of the secrets that will get him to commit in the first place, and it also happens to be the secret of keeping the guy and having a healthy relationship.
4. Realise desire is just as important as comfort…
In many relationships, especially those in which the couple lives together, things can quickly become so comfortable that your partner begins to feel more like a roommate or a best friend than a romantic lover.
And that’s usually when things go bad.
The couples that work best know how to prioritisation just as much as comfort.
That might mean being more open with each other about sexual fantasies. It might mean being less predictable and creating flirtatious or sexy moments through text, groping, and occasional role play.
Whatever method you use to get there, the best partners are those who appreciate their significant others’ need for desire and who work just as much to satisfy it.
5. Be willing to be strong for him sometimes…
It’s well known that men, in general, like to play the strong role in the relationship.
They like to be able to comfort and take care of you, keep you warm with their jacket, make sure you get home safe, stroke your hair and hug you when you’re feeling emotional or upset.
But, occasionally, men love the idea of a woman who lets him be vulnerable without judgment. That is, the girlfriend who is going to look after him and hear him out when he’s not at his best, who is going to pick him up and give him a hug when he feels weak and at the mercy of all of the crap life throws at him.
It might sound cheesy, but men need a woman who makes them feel safe and protected as well.
If you become the one person he can really be his vulnerable self around (even if it’s only once in a while), you become irreplaceable to him.
He’ll want to be the best man he can be to keep someone as confident and self-assured as you around.
For more tips on how to have a strong, loving relationship with a man who makes your needs his first priority…
… including my 3 secrets to lasting commitment that will make your man uncontrollably devoted and desperate to take your relationship to the next level…
… check out my step-by-step guide to relationship bliss, Keep the Guy…
Watch this Video: “Keep the Guy”
Always in your corner,