Irresistible Trait #1: Playfulness.
Playfulness is one of the most attractive traits, because life is hard enough without being with someone who is serious all the time. A woman who can be a bit light and fun and, dare I say, goofy, is a woman who makes the world a little more pleasant to be in.
Men look for that in a partner. She could be somebody who, when a great song comes on, starts dancing in a funny, silly, or cute way. She could be somebody who, when she looks at her guy, in that moment, she says, “If you don’t kiss me right now, I’m going to die.”
Irresistible Trait #2: Sexiness.
You don’t have to be overtly sexual to be sexy. Sexy means somebody who shows her sexual side. You can do this in a number of ways: moving in a sexy way, showing a man that you desire him. When you think somebody is hot, when someone’s doing something that’s sexy, that shows your sexy side.
It can be by a look that you give somebody. You can give a guy a little cheeky look across the table that says, “I’m undressing you right now with my eyes, and you don’t even know it.” And now he picks up on something, but you don’t actually have to say that that’s what you’re doing.
When he says, “What?” you can go, “What? I was just looking at you.” And in that moment, there’s some tension. Or you can interpret a look he gives you, and when he looks at you a certain way, if it’s sort of manly and strong and there’s something seductive about it, you can look at him and be like:
“You can’t look at me like that. Not in public. Don’t do that. That’s bad.” And then look away. Turn away. Get him out of your sight, because it’s too much for you. Just in that moment, he feels that sexual tension, and he sees that you have a sexual side.
Irresistible Trait #3: Nurturing.
The woman who makes you feel both loved and looked after is nurturing. That’s the woman who, when she sees you yawn doesn’t slap you on the arm and say, “Wake up! It’s still early!”
She’s the person who, when you yawn, says, “Long day, babe? Come here, give me a cuddle. Come nestle under my arm right here.” It’s that woman who’s just sort of nice and warm and has that loving energy. Everyone wants to be looked after a little bit, don’t they? It just makes the world seem like a better place. Like life is just one big, giant hug.
Irresistible Trait #4: Independence.
This one is kind of counterintuitive. A lot of men might say that, if they were being honest, they wouldn’t want their woman to have too much independence because it scares them.
When you’re independent, we get a bit insecure because we feel like you’re not going to need us anymore. But, the reality is, when you are independent, when you have your own life, your own hobbies, things you enjoy doing, things you enjoy learning about, and you have your own strength of mind, independent of your guy, that’s what keeps him attracted, that’s what keeps his desire level high.
It’s also, by the way, what makes him feel like he has a great teammate. Because if you can go away and be strong on your own, when you come back, you can be a better leader for him as well.
Because when he’s in self-doubt mode, when he’s worried about something, when he feels like he’s questioning himself or he’s fearful, in that moment when you’re strong, you can be like, “I believe in you, babe. I know you can do this. Everything’s going to be okay. I’m going to help make sure of it.”
You can be a strong teammate when you are independent. But when you’re not independent, and all of your worth is tied to him or linked to his state of mind, then you can’t lead when he needs someone to be strong, when he needs a rock.
I get that this may sound intimidating, but you don’t need to be all of these four traits at the same time. The key is to be the right amount of each at the appropriate time. And if a man sees that, over the course of a day or a week, you can be all of these different parts of you, he sees a multifaceted woman that he never wants to let go of.
Now today’s insights are just a tiny peek into the way men think.
The truth is, there are certain, very specificbehaviors – particularly at the beginning of a new relationship – that either attract the man YOU want, or accidentally push him away before you even realize it (and then it’s too late).