How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find,
the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common
aftereffects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just
seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the
saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good
overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset.

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at
what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot
of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and
distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a
social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards!

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to
your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person
you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay
away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste”
looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and
have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at
the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the
least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself!

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s
“friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do
but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the
bookstore shelves for self-help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make
you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any
major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If
you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little
off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships:
rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *