Although it’s easy to think your guy is the one, it’s hard to know for sure. To see if you’re serious about him – and if he’s worth it – read these tips and strategies.
Method 1 – How He Makes You Feel
1 – Notice that you feel like Wonder Woman around him. He should make you feel like a superhero. You should feel like you can be anybody and do anything when you’re with him. You should be unafraid of the challenges in your life because he makes you confident that you are strong enough to get through them. When you’re with him, you should feel like you can take on the world and win.
2 – Make sure you feel comfortable being yourself in front of him. This doesn’t just mean being that “silly you” that only your close friends or family know; it means letting him see you vulnerable, whether it’s without make-up, after a sweaty workout, when you’re afraid, or while you cry.
3 – Make sure you don’t feel ashamed around him.
Do you feel the need to hide things around him? If you feel that you need to hide things about yourself or your life, then maybe he’s not the one. He should love you no matter what, and if you worry that he’d judge your slightly-hairy wintertime legs, then maybe he isn’t the one.
4 – See how often you think about future plans.
Do you imagine the two of you cozying up on distant birthdays or holidays? Do you fantasize about the apartment, house, pets, or even children you may one day have together?
Method 1 – Quiz
How should your guy make you feel?
Like you don’t have to hide your grooming routine – he’ll love you whether you pluck, shave, or not.
You should feel almost invincible – like you can conquer the world because of the confidence he inspires
He makes you feel free to be yourself, even in the most vulnerable moments of your life.
Method 2 – How He Treats You
1 – Notice when he says “I love you”. It’s nice if he says “I love you too” after you say it but it’s important that you aren’t the only person saying the initial I love you. He needs to say it sometimes too. This shows that he thinks about how much he cares about you and that he’s not just following the standard script that he feels is expected.
Don’t get too worried if he doesn’t, though. Some guys are very shy about sharing their feelings. Ask him why he never says it first and tell him that you like to hear it. This might make him more comfortable saying it to you.
2 – Make sure he doesn’t pressure you to become intimate before you are ready.Someone who wants to enjoy your body before your heart is willing clearly doesn’t have your needs in mind. (And if he can’t see past his own desires when it comes to sex, he certainly won’t be able to when it comes to committing or starting a family.)
3 – Pay attention to whether or not he’s controlling.
If he frequently tells you what to do, tries to run your life, or manipulates your emotions to get what he wants, watch out! This guy is insecure and feels that he has the upper hand in your relationship. “The one” will be secure with you and let you be who you are.
4 – Note whether or not he keeps you from his pals.
If he refuses to include you in his social plans and avoids telling you what he and the guys did last night, he obviously isn’t willing to include you in his life and might even be up to something shady.
5 – Notice whether or not he alludes to your future.
If the two of you aren’t in the stages of a relationship where you openly discuss future possibilities, pay attention to whether or not he drops any hints. Even something small, like wondering what the two of you will do for an event that’s at least a month or two away, is a good sign.
If he proposes to you too soon (e.g., before 1 year), take some time to analyze why he is rushing. If you are inclined to say yes, suggest a long engagement to be sure.
If he absolutely won’t discuss a future together – even after a significant amount of time (say a year) – he is probably not considering one.
Method 2 Quiz
What is one way to tell that your partner is treating you right?
He’s planning an event with you that’s a couple months away.
He insists on becoming intimate before you’re ready, but only because he just can’t resist you.
When you tell him “I love you,” he says it back.
He keeps his social life separate from his relationship with you to maintain independence
Method 3 – How You Treat Him
1 – See if you naturally remember his birthday, your anniversary, and days that are important to him. This is one way of determining whether or not he weighs on your thoughts when he’s not around; it’s one thing to make room for someone in your life, but it’s another thing to entirely make room for him in your mind.
2 – Notice if you compliment him when he’s not looking his best
Do you find yourself attracted to him even if he has food in his teeth, or has helmet hair? Or does your attraction wax and wane depending on how well he grooms himself for you?
Notice if you’re excited to include him in your life. Wanting to compliment him to your friends and include him in your family is a major vote of confidence. On the other hand, if you don’t feel secure about a relationship, you may subconsciously find excuses not to introduce or discuss him.
Do you include him in family plans, such as inviting him on your family vacation (or even simply assuming that he will accompany your family without needing an invitation)?
Do you want to help him get along with his family (or even stick up for him) because it’s important that they like you?
Do you suggest that he should call your mother if he needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc.?
How You Work Together
1 – Notice how you change each other.
We often change, as people, when we’re around another person a lot (especially someone we care about significantly). Sometimes we change each other for the better and sometimes we change each other for the worse. You will need to decide if you positively impact him and he positively impacts you.
Do you find that either of you is becoming possessive, jealous, distrusting, lazy, or constantly stressed out? This is probably not someone you want to be around. They probably are not the one for you and you will not like the person you become if you stay with them.
Do you find that you inspire each other to be better people? Do you strive for more from life and for yourself when you’re with him? Does he do the same? Do you make each other kinder, happier people? This is a healthy relationship and you will only improve each other’s lives.
Notice the ways you both say you care.
Is he comfortable letting you see his tender side? Do you openly tell him you love him, even offering qualifiers such as “I love you a lot” or initiating the “I love you more” game?
Look for discrepancies between what is said and what is communicated. We’re often so blindsided by someone who waxes poetic about their love that we fail to notice whether or not they’ve done anything to back it up. At the same time, we might be so frustrated by someone who doesn’t spout poetry that we overlook all the thoughtful, loving gestures they’ve made. Reflect on whether either of you fits into one of these categories.
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