Be confident. The most important way you can attract the guy of your dreams is to be confident and content in your own self. You can do this by wearing a cute outfit, doing something new with your hair, trying a new makeup style, or simply just thinking positively, because confidence is one of the most attractive traits a person can possibly have and it will make you less anxious about failure, which makes it hard to take the leap and into a potential relationship.
Don’t judge yourself or others harshly. When you focus on all your flaws that is all that you’ll think you have to offer and when you focus on the flaws of others, you are making your own brain toxic with negative thoughts.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. Someone is always going to be more attractive than you, more successful than you, and have more romantic partners than you. Focus on the things that you have rather than the things that other people have.
Place yourself in his path. Now this doesn’t mean that you should go around stalking him wherever he goes, but if you know that he likes to frequent a particular coffee shop or book store, feel free to spend some time there and “bump” into him.
It’ll give you a little chance to talk to one another without a bunch of people around like at a party.
Don’t do this all the time, or he’ll think that you’re stalking him. Once or twice is the ticket, before it becomes obvious what you’re up to. (There is nothing wrong with straightforwardly asking him out, but if you’re not feeling bold enough this is a good way to work up the nerve to winning him over).
Play it cool. You don’t want to be super overt and clingy about trying to win your guy’s heart, because you won’t come off very well. However, this doesn’t mean that you need to hide your interest or pretend not to be interested. You simply want to make it so that you are interested but not overwhelming.
You could try dropping a compliment or two; something that isn’t overwhelming (overwhelming would be “you’re the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever met”) like “hey that shirt is really awesome” or “I really like your new haircut.”
Show that you have a life outside of thinking about him. When the two of you do talk, just casually mention some of the fun things you’ve done that week (even if it’s things like the awesome book you read, or video game tournament you participated in, or the soccer game you won). It shows that you have interests and a life of your own.
When you run into him, after chatting for a bit, say that you have to run to meet a friend or that you have to be somewhere. That way you’ll come across as having things to do and people to see, rather than someone who is waiting around to bump into him.
Make him laugh. Oftentimes the key to a person’s heart is through their humour. The saying goes “the couple that laughs together, stays together.” If you get him laughing at things you’re saying you’ll make him enjoy your company more and want to be around you more often.
A good way to do this is to mention something that is slightly embarrassing or humbling that happened to you. Mention the time you mistook a stranger for your best friend and slapped them on the butt, or how on the way to the date you missed a step on the bus and fell out the door in front of everyone. It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and that you can laugh at yourself.
You don’t need to belittle yourself or talk about how stupid you are. A confident person doesn’t need to belittle themselves, because they know that they are awesome! And confidence is attractive!
Be nice to his friends. He will listen to his friends’ advice about whether or not to date you, so you’ll want to make sure that you’re number one their list. This doesn’t mean that you need to agree with everything they say or that you should let them walk all over you (if his friends are that bad, though, you should rethink the guy you’re wanting to attract), but it does mean that you’re nice to them.
When you’re out with him and his friends, really listen to what they say and show that you have interest in their interests. You don’t have to pretend to be an expert in what they’re talking about if you’re not. Simply ask some questions and listen.
Don’t feel like you should sit on the sidelines when you’re around him and his friends. Participate in activities and introduce them to things that you like and you think they might like. It’ll show that you have respect for them and that you’re interested in getting to know them better.
Use the “3 strikes and you’re out” rule. This rule allows you to avoid committing yourself to a courtship that is basically going nowhere, because who has the energy for that? It means that if you’ve given him opportunities to try to get to know you better and he hasn’t jumped at the chance after 3 tries, then he’s probably not worth further effort.
If you think that maybe he is interested but simply shy, there is no reason that you shouldn’t ask him out instead. That way, even if he does say “no,” you will have a firm answer and won’t be left wondering.
The reason this is a good rule to follow is that you don’t really want to be after him like a lovesick, desperate puppy. If he hasn’t shown interest after awhile, he’s not going to, or he’s only going to show interest in having sex with you because he knows that you’re desperate (stay as far away from guys like that as you possibly can). Unless you’re only interested in sex, you’ll end up hurt by this arrangement.
An example of this in action might be you meeting him at a party and chatting with him, then popping in by his favourite coffee shop and running into him there and then chatting with him in class later. If you’ve given him openings to ask you on a date (or even for coffee), and he hasn’t gone for it after those 3 times, stop trying and move on.
love, Dating, Relationship goals, Dating Tips, Psychology
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